Every Catholic I know who took the “Belief-O-Matic” religion picker came up with a first choice as something other than Roman Catholic. [So many were Quakers that I began to think that maybe the dice was loaded. Or, maybe, there are lots of Quakers out there surprised to be identified by the quiz as Catholics?] In order to “level the playing field” a bit, here’s something which, if you find yourself nodding in agreement, means that you have — at the very least — Papist tendencies!
You may be a Roman Catholic if… [in no particular order]
- You are certain that you could preach a better homily – in half the time – than Father Obnoxious.
- You love the sacraments, especially the Eucharist, and don’t quite understand why everyone else doesn’t share your enthusiasm.
- You are embarrassed by the unrelenting focus on sex and sexuality to the exclusion of other core issues.
- You haven’t gone to Penance/Reconciliation in decades, but are still glad it’s available to you, if you ever feel the need for it.
- You are scandalized by the Church’s sinfulness and cringe every time a Catholic spokesperson stands up to speak.
- You know, no matter how sleek and comfortable you are, that Jesus stands for the poor and the downtrodden.
- You feel very much at home with the Anglican/Lutheran/Methodist traditions but suspect they’re a little too neat and orderly for you.
- You have a favorite saint [or two, or twenty...] and are deeply attached to the Communion of Saints.
- You hate second collections more than the Federal Income Tax.
- You may not pray the Rosary yourself, but deeply honor those who do.
- You have a healthy contempt for hierarchy and still believe in the Apostolic Succession.
- You accept that your religion has more crazy relatives than an Addams Family reunion.
- You visit the Vatican and are amazed that, somehow, you feel like it belongs to you and you to it.
- You feel slightly uneasy in churches where people enjoy singing hymns.
- You are enthusiastic about Catholic Social Teaching and want it to be better known.
- You worry that the Holy Spirit may be on an extended sabbatical.
Okay, what obvious things have I forgotten?
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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Wonderful! I may have been identified as a Quaker by Belief-O-Matic, but this sounds very familiar to me. I’d add “You put God first, but strongly believe that people should be polite, at the very least, to his mother.”
You are a woman engaged in parish ministry because you believe in your baptismal call, even if many others do not.
Older Catholic – you have resumed praying the rosary and you love it, despite the fact that you sometimes use it to fill time, like waiting to fall asleep.
You spend some part of St. Patrick’s Day actually honoring the saint himself.
Older Catholic – You actually have been to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and given the warm, face-to-face way it is done today, your memories of the past horrors of Confession are healed a bit.
A high percent of your friends are in second marriages having received annulments.
And I agree with Regina. When I hear “other Christians” engage in verbal assaults on our Blessed Mother, I really struggle with the commandment to love one another.
Thanks for the inspiration Paul! I polled U.S. Catholic editors and added a few more on the Catholic Tastes blog.
I also thought it was interesting that a lot of Catholics ended up Quaker on the beliefnet quiz (Quaker was pretty high for me too). I was surprised to get a few response on this blog post that Catholics who admire Quakers. What is it about the Quakers and Catholics?
You spend way too much time muttering, “I’m outta here,” stay anyway and quote James Joyce through gritted teeth: “Here comes everybody.”
I took the belief-o-matic quiz and came up with a score of 100% Catholic. So then I paused to wonder how this could be, there must be some mistake? How is it possible that I could score higher than Father Paul? Then after a couple days of examen it dawned on me those that scored low or were Buddist, were probably cradle catholics, and since I was just just baptised 4 yrs ago, I did not know the correct answers that would make me a Quaker. I am glad I figured that out I thought that I may loose my position on this web site and the word may get back to my Priest that I scored a 100% as a Catholic. Thanks for helping me understand my shortcomings.
Glorious! Funny!
Your Jesuit educated children do not attend Church….and you are unphased.
The Apostle’s Creed makes you remember why you’ve stuck it out.
Peace
I know this is shared by some other traditions but to me they have always seemed particularly “Catholic.”
You may be Catholic if you feel that reason and faith can both play a role in your spirituality.
You may be Catholic if you see value in all of human life even those deemed less than “perfect” by society.
You may be Catholic if you see the created universe as permeated with God’s goodness.
Regina,
Great! I suspected that, apart from the Rosary remark, I was light on Our Blessed Mother.
Paul
Joan,
Amen to that.
Paul
Eric,
Thanks, as always, for your comment. I was saddened when I read, “your memories of the past horrors of Confession are healed a bit,” because it’s hard to accept that such a great gift to us was turned into such an ugly experience for way too many of us.
Please God, we’ll learn from our past failures.
Paul
Paul
You know that the Immaculate Conception is not Mary’s conception of Jesus.
Ron C.,
Forgive me for taking so long to respond to you – I’m running around trying to keep many plates spinning but am getting tired and they’re beginning to start crashing to the floor.
You score 100% as Catholic and you’re worried about shortcomings? Come to think about it, having a perfect score and then worrying about it is very Catholic!
Donna,
Thank you for not blaming the Jesuits for your children’s non-attendance. Many do…
Paul
Maura,
As you note, your three additions are not necessarily uniquely Catholic, but they are totally Catholic. Thank you for sharing them.
Paul
You may not go to Church any more, but when you hear someone in the staffroom making a comment in a moment of crisis like “We’d better all say our Hail Marys” you know you work with a fellow lapsed Catholic…
I added a few!
(Older Catholic) You may be Catholic if……
After age 40, you come to understand and know the beauty of our Catholic Faith!
After age 40, you start attending Daily Mass!
After age 40, you come to realize the awesomeness of Confession and start receiving this Sacrament at least once a month!
After age 40, you absolutely KNOW without a doubt….Jesus is REAL and present in the Eucharist. How can you stay away?
After age 40, you want to share with the younger generation the awesomeness of our Catholic Faith—you are truly on Fire for the Lord!!!
Thanks for this! I’m saving it to review next time I consider re-lapsing — knowing full well I won’t be going anywhere. One lapsed period was enough.
You may be Catholic if….. your sister asked you to pray for sunshine on her wedding day, it rained, and your guilt prevents you from enjoying the day.
I am Roman Catholic from birth, a strict believer, (for my own practice), until life crisis had me questionning everything. I am now much more tolerant of myself and others. “The church” and I agreed to disagree on a few key points.
These are my test results:
1. Orthodox Quaker (100%)
2. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (90%)
3. Eastern Orthodox (90%)
I must definitely look closely at the Quaker faith…..
Also, interestingly, I read a great book recently, whose author was an active Quaker. She was raised Catholic. Her husband is an ex-priest – an ex-Catholic priest. I felt great affinity to this writer. Very interesting…….
Patricia