A group of alumni got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, and some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee. After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.”
“Be assured that the cup itself adds no real quality to the coffee. In most cases, it’s just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and then began eyeing each other’s cups.”
“Now consider this: Life is the coffee. . .and the jobs, houses, cars, things, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. God brews the coffee, not the cups . . . enjoy your coffee.”
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
A very wise professor!
How often we got lost on the trappings, and forget about what’s important. Thanks for sharing a very important reminder.
Bob,
Yes. I wish I could be half as wise as the professor.
Paul
This wisdom reminds me of St. Ignatius’ words in “Suscipe”:
“Give me only your love and your grace
That is enough for me.”
Have a wonderful weekend everyone and Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadians!
Lynda,
I’m so sorry. I missed Canada Day. Have a wonderful celebration – you have so much to be happy about and to be genuinely proud.
Paul
Paul, there is no need to apologize for not mentionning Canada Day. People read this blog from all over the world and it would be impossible to mention every country’s holidays. Just know that when you are at work on Monday, we will be having a holiday – but then you will have a holiday on July 4th!!
Happy Canada Day Lynda!
Same to you Carol!
Great story! I would have probably gone to a beautiful cup… I must remember it’s the coffee that counts
Claire, beauty is important as well. As a tea-drinker, I would certainly steer clear of a plastic cup if at all possible!!
Claire and Lynda,
I take Lynda’s point. I would be the same, but I think the moral of the story still stands.
Paul
Love it! I really think, Paul, even if these stories are timeless and told in different or not so different words for centuries even, your retellings are book-worthy. If you don’t think so, that’s okay. As the modern Zen-master Thomas Hora taught, “Yes is good, and no is also good.”
Mike,
You give me too much credit. I merely hunt these stories down and, occasionally, fix a few spelling and/or grammatical errors. There is no book from me in here.
Paul
This reminds me of the scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where if you drink from the Holy Grail, it will bring you life, but if you choose another cup, it will bring you death. The bad Nazi guy thinks the grail must be the finest of all the vessels to be worthy of Jesus, but the true grail turns out to be the simplest cup in the room. Choosing an opulent cup to drink from, thus confusing the glory of money with the glory of God, brought great suffering (the bad guy aged rapidly and painfully and turned to dust, which I assume didn’t happen to the professor’s students).
I always feel a little silly interpreting that Indiana Jones scene as if it were scripture, but it touches on the contrast between the material wealth many people associate with God and the obvious contempt Jesus had for the love of money. Millard Fuller’s “Theology of the Hammer” starts with the story of a wealthy man in Georgia who bought a large parcel of land, built a mansion, and put in all kinds of expensive, beautiful landscaping, all “to glorify God.” He asks, wouldn’t God be better glorified if all that wealth had been used to provide good shelter for all the people in Georgia living in shacks? I’m not the only one who suffers if I value the cup more than the coffee.
Jim,
I have seen that Indy Jones movie but must confess that I remember nothing about it. How wonderful that you are able to apply it to this story. I’m seriously impressed.
Paul
Lynda’s right, beauty is important. Stress and sadness and sin enter in when when I concentrate on owning it, or controling it, or improving it, or — worst of all — comparing how much I have to what friends, neighbors and family have – and judging myself and them accordingly.
So I’ll probably continue to choose a non-disposable cup for my tea when I have the option, too. But I’ll keep trying to be thankful for all the cups, no matter who uses them. And to remember that it is the tea, and the people I get to share it with, and the God who has brewed it for me, are what makes me happy — not being the one with most expensive cups.
(And what is it about this group that seems to disproportionately attract us tea vs. coffee drinkers?
)
We should all get together for a lovely afternoon tea!? I’d even make a pot of coffee just in case…
Michelle,
You do know that a few of us are planning on gathering here in Chicago in August, don’t you? It was mentioned on the blog, I believe. If you were to come, I’d treat us all to high tea somewhere posh!
Paul
That would be fun to have a group visit with/without high tea! Emma mentioned it on the blog several months ago.
Michelle
Wouldn`t that be fabulous!
Fot those able to gather as Fr Paul mentioned -sounds like it will be a wonderful gathering.
I’m bringing the cake!!
Well, I’ll buy it once I get there. No one would want to eat my baked goods. Homeland Security would probably confiscate it anyways. It would probably be unrecognizable.
Paul,
No, I didn’t know…how did I miss that? While I was tucked away in monastic silence without the internet, undoubtedly! When in August is the gathering?
Denise,
You are a wise woman!
Paul
I absolutely agree with “we are not what we own or what we look like”; but, I think it’s more about letting our material desires and possessions define us. I’ve had pangs of guilt over our house that still surface from time to time as it was a foreclosure. I can’t help but think that our good fortune came as a result of someone else’s misfortune. It’s much larger and much more comfortable than anything we need. At the same time, I can’t say I’m sorry that we purchased it. I’m very happy here. It was truly a “steal” and a lot less expensive than renting! I wonder, can one become attached to detachment in an unhealthy way? I think that I’m really screwed up about that. Is it wrong to take some joy from possessions? I think I’ve gone too far the other way, possessions and material good fortune making me unhappy, not exactly unhappy, but, uneasy; as if there’s something wrong if I like having some nice things………..
I think I have a milder form of that syndrome. I don’t know if it’s good or bad, though. At least it should keep you from becoming the person who has everything the world can offer and thinks life is fair. Lazarus won’t be dying at your front gate.
“Can one become attached to detachment?” Yes. If your happiness and self-identity are confirmed by self-denial, this is no different than being consumed by self-gratification. The goal should be “no goal”. A total letting go of any value one places on themselves by material possessions or lack of them. Accept what God has given you, be thankful for the gifts and share them with others. If a person flaunts their poverty, using that as a means by which to measure their value, then that is still an attachment. Does that help? I, for one, won’t hold myself responsible for someone else’s greed and lack of financial planning. Someone who earns minimum wage and commits themselves to a mortgage of over $1 million is as culpable as the lender. Personal responsibility plays a part in all of this. The responsibility that we have is one of getting ourselves out of the hole, turning back, dropping down a rope so that others can climb out. If they choose (choose being the operative word) to not take hold of the rope, that doesn’t mean that we have to climb back into the hole with them and stay there. That helps no one.
I know I have asked for prayers before for Jen.
Could I ask again.
Jen is undergoing chemo again.
Even after under going liver surgery, the cancer has surfaced.
Alot of suffering for this young woman.
The whole family needs this.
Lynda I know you before had written Jen’s name down.
I told Jen’s mom I would ask again for prayers.
They appreciate this because the journey is lonely and fearful at times.
Thanks to everyone.
Carol
Carol, I’m so sorry to hear that Jen is suffering so much. I will email the Bible Study group & ask for prayer for her and her family. Please know that they will be in our prayers. I will also put her name in the Book of Prayer Intentions at the church tomorrow. They are blessed to have such a faithful friend.
Lynda,
I deeply appreciate this.
I appreciate the wisdom of the story, but I too would have chosen a prettier cup but then again, I used to get teased by my kids for having different cups for coffee, tea, cappucino, etc, but funnily enough I don’t have a special glass for my whisky, or bacardi!!!!
ps. Prayers please for a safe birth of our 2nd grandchild due next week. I’m going to stay the week with my daughter so may not get chance to visit here.
Prayers that little granddaughter Grace who will be 4 in Oct starts sleeping through on a regular basis as her Mummy will need all the rest she can get
when new baby arrives.
Thanks.
Thank you so much Father Paul and all fellow PFO travelers.
As someone else said, “…story has great meaning for me….” For me as well.
How good it is to once again be making my 1st action of each day, the Jesuit 3 Minute Daily Meditation and then the second act to takes me here. I could spend the entire day here…so much truth, beauty and goodness.
Thank you all,
Ron Montpetit
Hi Ron. Long time no see