After “The Most,” I thought I should tackle “The Least.” Again, in no particular order:
1. The least complicated relationship I have is with my two sisters. They always give it to me straight and unvarnished.
2. The least competence I have is in the area of Math. I think I have the numerical kind of dyslexia.
3. My least favorite animals are probably snakes. Then cockroaches and rats.
4. I am at my least patient when waiting in doctors’ offices. (Isn’t our time just as valuable as theirs? If they’re running late, have someone call and tell us.)
5. My least favorite devotion is to the Infant of Prague (probably because I don’t understand why people delight in dressing up those little statues).
6. Least favorite thing to eat? Eel. Because of the sauce. When I lived in Japan, we ate a lot of eel. (It was supposed to fortify us against the summer’s heat.)
7. The last thing I’d want to be is a butcher. Sharp knives and handling raw meat. Ugh.
8. Least favorite place on the planet? My home town of Belfast, N. Ireland. I hope never to see it again.
9. As I have probably told you, I detest country & western music. If I was ruler of the earth, I would have it banned!
10. The least I can do is say “thank you,” so I try to express my gratitude to God and to my fellow humans as much as I can.
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
4. That’s why we’re called PATIENTS, so that we could be PATIENT. But yes, I agree with you. Last Monday I waited for an hour till my doctor arrived. I kept on thinking about the other things I could have done.
5. The “Sto. Niño” is very popular here in the Philippines. I once saw a statue dressed as a police man and another in a basketball jersey. Very interesting.
Jaymee,
One difference between you and me is that I wouldn’t have waited an hour. After about 15 minutes, I tell the receptionist that I can’t wait any longer and need to reschedule. Sometimes that gets me in immediately.
Paul
I need to think harder about my “most” and “least.” The problem I have, though, is that they would probably change daily according to circumstances.
I am “most” surprised at your least favourite town. I fully understand that there have been some very malign forces at work there and you may not wish to be in close proximity to them ever again, but we are all products of our past in some way and that town had some influence on who and what you are. I don’t think many people reading this blog would see that as anything but good.
That said, I am not all that keen on Glasgow either, having once lived there, and I fear that the reasons for that aren’t too dissimilar to your dislike of Belfast.
As for maths, you were just badly taught. Of that I am more certain than most things
Simon,
I accept that I am a product of Belfast, but I had such bad experiences there that I simply want to avoid the place from now on.
As to Math, I think I had good and kind teachers. I’m just “tone deaf” to the subject, I fear.
Paul
There really is such a thing as “math dyslexia.” Dyscalculia, which apparently afflicts something like 5% of the population. It’s distinct from various general learning disabilities (which also often impair mathematical learning), so a person with dyscalculia can still have a very high IQ. It’s largely genetic.
All of which is to argue that you could very well just be bad at math, no matter how good your teachers were. Maybe if they’d had hours and hours available to tutor you, they could have helped you to become average or even good at math, if they were really good. But for practical purposes, some people are just hopeless with some subjects. God meant you for something else!
Like Simon, I need more time to think about my leasts, but I share some of yours. The doctor’s office waiting is a real pet peeve of mine. I do understand that emergencies and the unexpected often happen, but consistent waiting used to mean a poorly managed office. Now, as I have come to know through experience, along with conversations with friends (ranging from doctors to nurses to practice managers) that this is the new reality for most offices. *sigh* Putting people before prophets may be the *true* least favorite thing for me, in that case.
I’m also with you on the eel, although for different reasons – the image of a live eel makes me feel, well… ill! Another common least, C&W. I might not ban it, but I am not a fan at all!
And then there is math… (I love how the British, as Simon reminded me, say maths!)
Infant of Prague is another one. I visited the church in Prague where the “original” is. That is all I will say about that!
And you have me curious about the Belfast reference…
Fran,
I’m afraid I’m partially guilty of making other people wait. My physician is a Jewish atheist who is fascinated that I am a clergyman. He keeps asking me questions about faith. I tell him, “Steven, there are people waiting for you,” but he goes on and on.
As to Belfast… being a teenager in a civil war zone was no fun at all. My parents were too frightened to let me out after dark and, in truth, when I did go out I had a few real scares – one night four of us were driving somewhere and were pulled over by armed vigilantes. We passed the test because we were Catholics like them, but we could easily have been stopped by Protestants and then there would have been real trouble.
I like to think of Syracuse as my home town by adoption.
Paul
Paul,
As far as Belfast I was wondering too, glad you expanded. Makes a lot of sense.
Please do think of Syracuse that way and come back cause our area needs more people like you!
#4. When I had three little children I used to have to wait for well over an hour with them at the doctor’s; however, the doctor I have now apologizes if she is five minutes late! Nevertheless, I try to remember to take a book with me at all times as there is nothing more frustrating than sitting waiting for an appointment.
#10. Amen!!
Lynda,
I agree about the frustration of waiting. When my doctor moans about my high blood pressure, I remind him that waiting for him is what sent it higher!
Paul
I’m very patient at the doctor’s. I’m grateful that I will given the same time and attention when I go in without clock watching. I’m impatient when people to whom I am giving a lift in my car keep me waiting. My least favourite music is found in what I call “dumpty dumpty” hymns. I was hopeless at maths at school but went back to it later and loved it. Not sure what my area of least competence is. Least favourite food – mushrooms. Least favourite place – anywhere noisy. Least complicated relationship – with my cat!!!!!
Maria,
From now on, every hymn I don’t like will be called “dumpty dumpty.” Love it!
Paul
Could you give us an example of a “dumpty dumpty” hymn? Images of hymns set to polka music keep coming to mind when I try to picture that.
Jim,
One hymn I’ve come to hate is “Be Not Afraid.” If I have to “cross that barren desert” one more time, I shall lose my mind. Dumpty dumpty.
Paul
I love that hymn. But I haven’t attended mass regularly since high school, so I’ve had about 20 fewer years for it to start grating on me.
My MOST complicated relationship, I think, is with my siblings. Well done you! Least complicated with my spouse.
Least favorite animal — bats. As cute and cuddly as rats, but many species are larger, and they all fly. JUst writing this gives me shivers up my spine. I saw in a museum once that bats represent between 20 and 25% of all known species of mammals. That number makes me question the wisdom and benevolence of God.
I am at my least patient when I have shouted for my daughter 4 or 5 times in a row, and I get the response at last “I’m coming Mom. Geez, I heard you the first time.”
Least favorite food is durian/jackfruit. Favorite food is chocolate from Marcolini in Brussels. Though really, just about any Belgian chocolate will do. Perhaps the Infant of Prague doesn’t phase me much, since I’ve seen some really strange stuff on the little Mannequin Pis statue.
Least favorite way to pray/least favorite music — the “praise and worship” music at the teen mass once a month at our parish. But it does increase my admiration and empathy for all those people who don’t appreciate the folk masses I love.
The least I can do — help those who’ve helped me, love those who love me, pray for those who pray for me. And know that I am called to do a whole lot more.
Denise,
Did you read about my bat wrangling episode in Xavier, Spain? I had four of them in my hotel room late one night. I had the dickens of a time getting them out.
Paul
I did. I am impressed you even tried to get them out. I would have shut the door behind me and slept — if sleep were possible — in the hall.
The least favorite thing is -just how fast time goes.
It is already Sept 5- I can’t believe it!!
I also share waiting at the dr office.
Happened last week-I even suggested if they were so far behind to call me at work/home to cancel even at the last minute if this would reduce their workload. It was only a checkup. They told me i would be next.
If people need the attention I am happy to wait. Overbooking I don’t care for.
Wearing sunglasses at work-
Since my eye episode I have difficulty with the light.
So to reduce the floaters in my eye I wear sunglasses-it is like working with candle light all the time.
The least I could be is grateful-still have my eyesight and sunglasses.
Carol,
I couldn’t agree more with you about how time flies. As a boy, time seemed to crawl by and now decades seem to disappear in minutes.
Paul
While I share the frustration of waiting in doctors’ offices, I have to say that my impatience threshold extends beyond that setting. I understand that sometimes things come up, so an occasional late meeting is unavoidable, but some people make a habit of being late for meetings. That’s not respectful.
Denise,
I hope I’m not one of the people who is late for meetings…
Paul
No, Paul, you’re punctual. One of the things that I appreciate about working with you.
A few of my “leasts”: The time when I’m least likely to be patient – if I’m in a hurry to get somewhere and I miss my bus, or it’s exceptionally late.
My least favourite food – spaghetti, because, while I like most pasta, spaghetti is just too hard to eat!
My least favourite moment of the day – the moment when I have to get out of bed in the morning!
Also, mention of the Infant of Prague reminded me of a joke I came across recently. The Virgin Mary was heard saying to the Infant of Prague, “I don’t care who your father is, you’re not going out to play dressed like that!”
Cathy,
Your Infant of Prague joke made my day. Thank you.
Paul
An addendum to the above: I think I would agree with you, Paul, about eels being my least favourite food, except I’m a vegetarian so I don’t eat meat or fish at all. That’s another reason, other than the ones you give Paul, why I also wouldn’t want to be a butcher!
Cathy,
Right now I’m staying with vegetarians. The food is delicious, but I keep hankering for some bacon…
Paul
Least complicated relationship is with my GSD, Iggie; some kibble, a scratch behing the ears and the opportunity to be let off the leash to chase the occassional squirrel (or the neighbor’s cat..tee hee) and he’s happy. Not only that, but if I tell him “not now” he accepts my direction without getting into a lengthy debate.
Least competent: a class I took in the history of monotheism. What was I thinking? I thought it was a HISTORY class! Didn’t read the fine print on that one. My saving grace, a open book exam. They make God so complicated!
Least favorite animal: mean people! Lower species are only acting as they were intended by our creator, not so mean people.
Least favorite place: Bloomington, Illinois!!
Least patient: when dealing with mean people!
Least I’d like to be: anything that keeps me indoors all day, every day, or forces me to be patient with mean people!
Least I can do is also to be grateful for the gifts that have been given me and pray for mean people!!
Emma,
Yes, we do tend to make God complicated, don’t we?
Paul
Great list, funny, sweet, smart. Least thing I like about me: ego — when will it ever shrink?
Mike,
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
Paul
1. The least complicated relationships I have are with my parents and siblings. We’re all easy-going and drama-averse. We don’t intrude into each other’s business or read hidden meanings into each other’s words.
2. The least competence I have is in social interactions. I can read social cues, but I don’t know how to respond all the time, and people sometimes draw meanings from me that I’m not trying to convey.
3. My least favorite animals are either spiders or roaches. They both make me shiver.
4. I am at my least patient when trying to navigate a complicated website or voice-answering service.
5. My least favorite aspect of my culture: The knee-jerk cynicism of our politics. We assume the worst of our politicians, especially if we disagree with them. Cynicism corrodes our democracy, making participation seem pointless and outrageous behavior seem normal. All because we think it’s less naive to assume the worst about everyone than it is to assume the best.
6. Least favorite thing to eat? Brie. There. I said it. I. Hate. Brie. It tastes and feels like something off the bottom of a green lake.
7. The last thing I’d want to be is a veterinarian. Very allergic to cats, dogs, and horses.
8. Least favorite place on the planet? Any grade school or junior high. That’s a dreaded aspect of my son growing up. I have a learned fear of kids that age that goes even beyond my aversion to eggplant Parmesan.
9. Least favorite music? Techno. Boring. Headache-inducing. I actually like country music. I think it’s the most poetic of the popular genres. There are many bad country songs, of course, but the best ones have the cleverest or the most beautiful lyrics out there.
10. The least I can do is be kind and gracious to those around me. Pick up the dropped book on the bus and hand it back. Thank the receptionist at the pharmacy and say “have a nice day.” Greet people. Smile.
Well, it is an interesting period to raise the issue with people’s cynicism with politicians after GOP VP candidate Ryan’s latest efforts to bolster the ratings. Sorry, but he claims expertise in one of my fields and I have the misfortune to listen to him too often to take the man seriously. I’m not sure how Mr Obama is going to do much more this week, however.
You do, though, raise a very good point and it is the subject of a campaign by the UK newspaper, “The Independent.” Until people re-engage in the political process the fact that politicians do not represent their constituencies will further undermine the “democracies” in which we live.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/how-you-can-bring-our-ailing-democracy-back-to-life-8105024.html
I don’t think your cynicism toward Paul Ryan can be called “knee-jerk.” It sounds like he’s worked hard to earn it.
My comment #5 has a back story. On my neighborhood forum, one member was wondering if a local business development had received any variances regarding off-street parking and delivery docks. Another one asserted that the developers must have received variances in exchange for campaign contributions, then turned around and pointed at her own assertion as evidence that that sort of thing happens all the time. That’s what I was thinking of when I said “knee-jerk cynicism”: adopting corruption and narrow self-interest as your default hypothesis for why a politician says or does anything.
Jim,
Just before responding to this, I saw the biggest spider of my entire life. Looks more like a Buick than an insect!
Paul
When I went to Tucson to do research one summer, I was a guest at an entomologist’s house until my apartment lease kicked in. I was sleeping on a floor crawling with roaches, next to a room lined with little boxes of live tarantulas, scorpions, and vinegaroons. I did not sleep soundly.
A couple of things, like others I am not good with most and least probably because I am so fickle and like Simon I change depending on the day. But, there are some things that are constant.
I have the least patience for rudeness of any kind.
I am the least willing to listen when I am angry.
My least favorite place is probably inside a cab…I am so glad I don’t need one often.
The last job I would ever want is as a carni. (The NYS Fair just came to a close so that one is fresh! haha!)
The least I can do is have a grateful heart.
Least favorite food : criadillas! Someone slipped that to me once before telling me it was huevos de toro! How RUDE!!! Some things are not meant for human consumption. Ugh.
dear paul, ur point number 10 is simple yet powerful. read sm where : grace isnt a small prayer u chant before meal, its the way u live ur life. attitude of gratitude
warm regards,
kaminni