One of my colleagues told me he’d come across the following story:
Newly retired, a man determined he wanted to paint his den exactly the way he wanted it. He went to the hardware store, got paint specially mixed, bought rollers, brushes, masking tape and every other imaginable supply.
He returned home and struggled to get all the supplies into his hands. Approaching the house, he realized it was going to be difficult to get the front door open, but, with the tip of his little finger he managed to open it.
His next challenge was to get through the door with both arms encumbered with stuff. He tried to power his way through, but slipped backward and fell with a thud on the porch. One of the paint cans opened, drenching him in red paint.
It is at this moment that he realized that, if you’re going to try something new, you should probably get rid of as many burdens as possible.
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
This feels like a midweek wisdom story. As someone who is burdened with so much rubbish both physical (and psychological) I needed this today as I am finally letting go of my home in Scotland (renting it anyway) and have been trying to get rid rid of stuff. Unfortunately every time I try to throw something out or even give it away, someone is telling me; “Aww what a shame. Shouldn’t you hang on to that in case you want it in the future?” I wouldn’t mind but I have lived without these things for the past five years! I really do believe that the things that matter you carry in your heart. The rest just drags your bag.
Simon, I’m with Tim in thinking “drags your bag” is a marvellous expression.
Simon,
A major life lesson for me was when I moved out of the Jesuit Community in Syracuse after 15 years, I was able to throw out ten trash (bin) bags — from one room!
Paul
Well, I have just had new carpet put in my house- and had to move all the furniture, books etc out to the kitchen. Oh my goodness. I’ve been having a big sort out too as I put things back. I’m up to seven trash bags Paul! Plus a recycling wheelie bin that is full. Plus I have made visits to the Sallies and Red Cross with stuff. Clearly, I have far too much stuff!!! Life was much simpler on the Camino with just a backpack and clothes that had to be washed and reworn the next day!
Margaret
PS- Ahhh but I do love my new carpet.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us. – Hebrews 12:1
The thing is, we (I) all know this. Let go, get rid of as many burdens as possible, remove all that drags your bag (love that Simon). So, why don’t we (I) do this?
Tim,
Because things that are easy to say are often very difficult to do.
Paul
Like Simon, I find this a wisdom story! Wonderful.
Fran,
Rats! Now I’ll regret now using it as a Wisdom Story.
Paul
I appreciate the “story”. As always “wisdom stories” are so much easier “read” than done. If wisdom comes with age, I reckon I will never be old enough.
I agree that things that really matter we carry in our heart but as a sentimentalist I treasure the “things” that I have that belonged to my Mum and Dad (both now deceased). Especially my Mum’s eternity ring as it is a circle of hearts and the love that always went with it.
Sorry if I have gone off at a tangent.
I think you make a good point, that we are more than just soul and heart and mind, we are bodies, too. So what we hold onto, literally, matters. It’s what makes the sorting harder, chucking it all isn’t always a great choice either. Memories reside in a special way in things like your mother’s ring — or the relics Catholics put in altars!
Katy,
No tangent. A friend recently had her jewelry stolen and it was the pieces with the most sentimental value that pained her, not the most valuable bits.
Paul
Definitely wisdom in this story! Sometimes I find I am my own burden I let my self (or wants or what I think I need) get in the way of taking a new direction that could lead me to Grace…..
Kathy,
I’ve used this before but I really do love the Woody Allen line, “I’ve come to realize that the only thing standing between me and greatness… is me!”
Paul
Yeah for this midweek wisdom story! This fits with the book I was reading last night: Paula Huston’s The Holy Way: Practices For A Simple Life. Her spiritual director asked her to make a list of all that she had to do (she felt that she had to do). Three weeks later, she had a list of 62 or 64 things. She called her director who told her, “Cut your list in half.”
As a retired woman, I don’t think I have a long list to do but maybe I still do put on myself ‘musts’ of some sorts. I’ll have to think about this.
Thank you
Claire,
You didn’t mention the publisher of that fine book. I wonder who it could be…
Paul
My first thought was that when I want to emphasize something for my students, I use bright colors — and apparently so does the Holy Spirit. I am currently encumbered by a cane, which seriously reduces my ability to carry stuff. The number of times I have ignored the hint and thereby dumped everything down the stairs (I can still see all the socks fluttering through the air), should have been a wisdom lesson in itself, but I suspect I needed it underlined! Thanks!
And Simon, good luck with the clearing out!
Michelle,
A cane. Oh, dear. I do hope you will be able to set it aside very soon.
Paul
This is very timely for me today as I realize that I have taken on new activities but have not reduced any of the ministries in which I’m already involved. I expect I will soon be covered in red paint if I don’t make some wise decisions!
Lynda,
I might pay to see you covered in red paint!
Paul
I love “drags your bag,” too! I also agree that certain family items are treasures. I love the comparison to relics, Michelle. Having lost both of my parents there are a few things that I have kept that mean the world to me. On the other hand, when your loved ones belongings end up filling up a couple of boxes, you realize that it is the people and memories that matter–not the stuff. Lovely reflection today! Thanks!
Jody,
Glad you liked it. I’m surprised at how positively people are reacting. Pleasantly surprised, I hasten to add…
Paul
I see this in relation to life stages. The burdens not as “stuff ” but as old relationships and self concepts that we cling to. Sadly, sometimes we have to let go of people who we thought would be a part of our lives forever. Old wounds that we carry that continue to keep us stuck in our past. That “who ” we thought we were that no longer is us. The Amerindians have a saying, ” Seed that no longer grows corn is to be thrown away. ” We cling desperately to burdens that should be discarded, leaving no room in the garden for new growth to take root. On a lighter note, does that mean mother-in -laws?
One may make room for mother-in-laws, but one is not allowed to discard them!
Well, packing up in the dark of night and moving to the other side of the continent is always an option. Isn’t America great??
I better quit while I’m ahead!
Emma,
Thanks for the reminder that not all burdens are “stuff.” I shall reflect upon that piece of wisdom. Thank you.
Paul
When I read this early this morning, my first thought was, “Nice idea, but how realistic is it?” We can’t simply abandon our prior commitments and responsibilities when we take on something new.
But . . . for the last few days I have had reason to ponder why certain things “take” for people at certain times and not at others. Why, to be more specific, are the Spiritual Exercises sometimes life-transforming and sometimes not so much? Why is someone suddenly able to make a long-needed journey of restoration in the midst of life chaos when a year ago she couldn’t get herself to board a plane?
Such freedom to be discovered in the relinquishing of old burdens before embracing the new — “I always pray this way” or “I always travel by car and only to places I’ve already been.” !
Robin,
I, too, have found myself wondering how some people get great fruit out of the Spiritual Exercises and others not so much.
Paul
In physical terms, I hold onto things I don’t need anymore mostly because wallowing through old boxes to sort the keepers from the tossers, and then properly disposing of the tossers, takes a lot of time and energy. Granted, I would save time and energy in the long run if I didn’t have a bunch of boxes to move around every time I change my address or want to paint the room the boxes are in, but that wasted time is in small chunks spread out over years, so it’s easy to overlook it. Some of that physical stuff is also wrapped in emotions, as others here have observed. I don’t use my grandpa’s old belt, and I haven’t even looked at it in the past year, but I’ve thought of it often. It’s a physical manifestation of my familial roots, so why would I chuck it?
In non-physical terms, I hold onto unneeded burdens because it’s scary to go without them. To use Emma’s term, a lot of that junk is “the ‘who’ we thought we were that is no longer us.” When we finally put it down, we have to face the question, “if I am not that, what am I?” Facing that question is both depressing (because you’re losing what you used to define yourself by) and exhilarating (because you have the chance to learn more about who you really are). But who looks forward to an identity crisis??
Jim,
Your “diagnosis” of why we hold onto stuff is spot on. And you’re right that disposing of stuff “takes a lot of time and energy.”
And I am very lazy.
Paul
All I can say is that often when I have tried to “power” my way through obstacles, opposition, or tight squeezes — like the painter, I also end up sitting on the ground and red in the face.
OK — back to powering my way through the to-do list for the day….
Denise J
Denise,
A good and valid counterpoint. Thank you.
Paul