I recently heard a story – which I’m assured is true – about a man who decided to clean his fishbowl.
He filled his bath with water and transferred his goldfish to the tub. Having finished cleaning the fishbowl, he returned to the bathroom to recover the fish. He was surprised to see that they were swimming in the same small circles as they did in their fishbowl even though they had a big bath in which to roam.
He found himself wondering whether he, too, was spending his life swimming in small circles…
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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I suspect this is true of most of us to a certain degree.
Fear is a feature that constrains us from being more adventurous, doing more of what God asks of us and swimming beyond the tight little circles that we have set for ourselves. I think though that, depending on our circumstances and as we absorb the grace that God gifts us, the circles spiral out a little wider eventually.I hope so anyway.
Simon,
I hope so, too.
Paul
Interesting story. I’d like to think that the fish would start to expand their circle after a time, after they got used to their new environment. Sometimes we like to stay with the normal routine for a while but we break out of that when we see there are new worlds out there.
Thanks.
Bob,
I’m sure that, after time, they would have begun to explore the area around them. Question is, are we unnecessarily limiting the area around ourselves?
Paul
Thank you for the warning…
Claire,
I’m not sure that I thought of it as a warning. More of an invitation to explore…
Paul
I am that fish swimming in the circle the past two weeks. Just call me Dory…… My Dad is ill and I am trying to advocate for him and help my mom from 800 miles away. I am trying to be the “adult” daughter researching and being a shoulder my mom can lean on, yet inside I am still the little girl scared of losing her Daddy…
Please pray for recovery for my dad and for me to have the grace to keep swimming.
Thank you .
Kathy, you and your family will be in my prayers for all the graces that you will need. Blessings and peace.
Praying hard Kathy.
Kathy, I feel for you. I will hold your intentions in my daily prayer – for your Dad and Mom and you.
It’s hard to be so far off! Prayers for strength enough to swim…
Kathy,
I join with all the others in prayer for your father and for you. I believe that, whatever happens, one day soon (in the grand scheme of things) you will both be swimming blissfully together for ever in the Reign of God.
Paul
Thank you everyone for your prayers. It really does give me strength.
Kathy, I am sorry to hear all this. You are held in prayer.
So many prayers for you Kathy!
There’s a great myth in America that anyone can achieve anything, if they work hard, stay out of trouble, plan ahead, etc. I think this myth is horrible when it’s applied to public policy, because it negates our public responsibility to those who are really trapped in metaphorical fishbowls.
As part of a personal philosophy for living, though, it’s a great myth. It leads you to take control of those aspects of your life that you can control to make the best of your circumstances. At the other extreme, you can assume you have no agency at all, letting one opportunity after another pass you by while you blame fate or society or something for your failure to capitalize on any of them. That’s the mental fishbowl, and I think it leads us to accept a lot of unacceptable circumstances, both in our personal lives and in our society.
Carpe carpam!
Jim,
Point well taken!
Paul
I am just like this fish in a fishbowl that swim around in a small circle and this is due to a lot of false beliefs that I have learned to accept as programmed in me by my family, culture and tradition, society and even religion. I have learned to define myself by my profession, avocation, likes and dislikes, all of which, seemingly are designed make me become the “real me” as psychology defines it. By this, I am supposed to live a happy and fulfilled life.
But slowly, I am beginning to realize that I have been brainwashed into believing this, because I see that other people are just like me: fearful, not free from insecurities, anxieties, tensions and worries and the likes. I have been programmed to believe that my happiness lies in the things that I am attached to, when I have control over people and situations, when I gain and possess so much knowledge, and if all my desires are realized.
As the years went on and through many painful experiences beyond my control, I have learned to let go and expand my perimeter a little bit. I am beginning to understand Jesus’ injunction in Luke 14:26: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even ihis own life, he cannot be my disciple.” I may not be able to completely live this out, but a little bit of understanding of what Jesus really meant, by setting aside my own prejudices, and instead, by being humble enough to open my mind and heart to really hear what he is saying, has brought me a world of personal revelations.
Thank you, Fr. Paul for this post.
Dolly,
You never cease to amaze me and to educate me. Thank you.
Paul
That’s kind of what I was thinking, Paul.
I think that fear of different types plays a large role in whether we are willing to increase our circles. Once we realize that we are the beloved children of God and that we are loved unconditionally, we are enabled to step farther and farther from the safety of the centre. It takes a long time but gradually our fear dissipates. I can only speak from my own experience and that of others who have shared their experience with me. I take great consolation in the number of times in both the Old and New Testaments that we are told not to be afraid.
Lynda,
You are so right. It is exactly when “we realize that we are the beloved children of God and that we are loved unconditionally” that everything changes.
Brava!
Paul
Another good one and certainly worth a pause. So many things can be said about our ‘small circles’. Lent is a great time to swim in a different direction – even if it may be upstream!
Andie,
I love the idea of Lent being a time for us to swim upstream. Thank you.
Paul
As the probability of a health-related early retirement looms, I find myself discerning what comes next. The health issue is not life threatening, I would be eligible to retire at full benefits and I have a good pension set aside, but somehow I never quite thought about what would follow after I turn in my keys for the last time.
Although a life of leisure sounds tempting, one can only watch so much TV and eat so many bonbons before one’s mind and soul begin to rust away. I realized that within two weeks of my recent spinal fusion surgery when I started to get hooked on, of all things, a soap opera, the genre at which I had previously sneered. When our tiny circles disintegrate, something quickly emerges to fill the void: Nature and God, it seems, both abhor a vacuum.
I am just starting to use the process that I learned in the Spiritual Exercises to discern what God wants me doing next. He is an Infinite God, and far from keeping me in my little fishbowl, is presenting me an ocean of possibilities, if only I open my eyes and my mind to them.
More will be revealed, if I’m observant.
Carol,
Thank God for the Spiritual Exercises. More will be revealed… Your eyes and mind are already open to the Spirit.
Godspeed!
Paul
There are days when I long for a little bowl, with a nice view and the occasional interesting visitor. I think I am a closet monastic….
My life runs in a pretty small circle physically, or rather a triangle, about a mile on each side. Church, home, college. Grocery across from the church. But somehow it doesn’t feel so small because of the richness of the people in it!
Michelle,
We all long for little bowls but, somewhere in the deepest hearts of our being, we know that there is an ocean there for those who dare…
Paul